The Prowler (1981)

In 1945 a servicemen overseas gets a ‘Dear John’ letter from his best girl, Rosemary. The GI’s return home and Rosemary is attending her high school graduation dance with some other dude, they go out to enjoy some alone time when they get introduced to the business end of a pitchfork by a ‘prowler’ in complete soldier uniform. Thirty-five years pass of no dances and when one gets organised, as you could probably assume, chiselled 80’s teens start to get rubbed out. While The Prowler is no gem, it’s got a lot in it for the slasher enthusiast; however I find that the movie seems to get bogged down, really only saved by appearances of the killer and Tom Savini’s gore effects.
First things first the crazy veteran killer is one of the better bad guys I’ve seen in the movie. Whenever you see him lurking around he just drips presence and dread. One of the coolest moments of the film is when scenes of girls getting ready for the dance are intercut with scenes of this dude ‘arming up’; sliding bayonets and knives into holsters, strapping on jackboots etc. The murder scenes are probably the best shot in the movie, I really felt that ‘The Prowler’ himself was an angry, vindictive bastard. It’s no small feat to communicate fury through a mask and it’s pulled off. I’m not an expert in the military history of the United States but I don’t think Marines were equipped with pitchforks as they took to the field of battle but that implement is more or less this guys ‘signature’ weapon and it’s weaved like an artist. Savini showed up for this one hard and I was lucky enough to obtain an uncut version of the film, you get some throat slashings, knives through the back of the skull, plentiful pitchfork implementation including a couple being stuck together (An effect that was completely cut out of Friday the 13th II) and an exploding head that rivals the one in Savini’s Maniac. I feel like my virginity will become magically reinserted by making nerdy statements like this but Savini’s life is the number one argument against garish, fake looking CGI, a big reason why I largely avoid genre movies from the last decade and a half. The Prowler is not all love and kisses though. It’s a largely plodding affair, I wasn’t too into the characters and was cheering for the GI to remove them from the movie. Maybe I’m just a retard but I got a little confused with the plot holes and red herrings. It’s annoying when slashers try to be something that they are not and pull off these capers, I just got bored. The main character cop also seemed to have one of those octagon, sharp angled heads that only people in the 1980s seem to have, it was a distraction. When it was revealed who the killer was it was such a ‘no care ever’ event that it was funny.
That said, I don't watch these movies to be mystified, I watch them for the red stuff and The Prowler delivered.

The Burning (1981)

A ballsy, entertaining Friday the 13^th knockoff (A mutant looking freak rubs out horny teens at a summer camp) that really kicked my ass. Old Cropsy is an angry old alcoholic groundskeeper at a summer camp who’s always fucking around with the kids. Some dudes plan to pull a trick on him that goes quite wrong when he ends up catching on fire in his bed and burning like a torch before their eyes. Five years later, he’s a melted psychopath lurking the forest with his shears, out for blood. I found a lot to love in this movie with only a few complaints.

First of all, I love a slasher movie that actually makes me care about the cast, and The Burning achieves this for me in spades. I got to mention it features a young Jason Alexander rocking the shit, he’s the cool guy around camp who can hook you up with a pack of condoms or a Hustler and the ladies flock to his cool head of luxurious hair. Frank and Estelle must of been very disappointed with the unemployable shlub he would turn into by the early 90s. The gore delivers to, courtesy of the man himself, Tom Savini. If there is an example of a slasher movie bringing the hammer down supremely, it’s during what could only be described as the raft river massacre scene. Its a pretty ingenious scene, your situation can’t get much more pathetic if you’re on a raft in the middle of a big-ass river with this dude slaughtering everyone in front of you, you literally have no escape. Very itchy, very gory and Savini delivered the red stuff and guts massively. Build up, tension, kills with superb gore payoff, they hit a feature on the slasher pokie machine. I got a big laugh when I saw in the opening credits that the score was by Rick Wakeman. I never heard his music before but my fucking asshole neighbour loves him and whenever he’s bashing my ears with dumb stories he usually chucks in some anecdote about how much he loves the music of Rick Wakeman. Well I think that makes two Wakeman fans in ole Islington because the score on this is fucking great, and I would describe it as being above par for a U.S slasher film, all murky tense synth and dark, ominous tones. I really got into the villain of Cropsy as well, but one of the failings of The Burning is they waste his early, dark presences with too much fish-eyed POV. I was cheering after he kills a prostitute, coming across as an actual demented human rather than a franchise slasher machine. By the time he hits the forest though, it’s gone. Also, with such a large cast of kids I was looking forward to a respectable kill count, and I was disappointed. Those complaints aside, The Burning has become an instant favourite of mine. I watched it twice in the same day and I can think of no better way to start The Ripper List.

A New Blood

This is not a personal website or a journal or any of that nonsense, rather something for me to write about the dumb trash I waste time and money on scrutinizing over. Posts will concern deep thoughts on either a movie I've watched or a record I've been spinning lately. How quickly will this die in the ass? Only time will tell.